March 28, 1998: Janor Hypercleats, a.k.a. The Man from Outer Taste, and the Reverend Father Papa Joe Mama travel great distances and endure tremendous hardships to bring the word of "Bob" to the unclean masses at the Velvet Elvis Lounge, in the heart of Savannah's Historic District. They arrive only moments after the show was to have begun at 8 pm but this being Savannah, nobody expects things to start before 11pm, so locals are quite unprepared when the show starts at 10:15pm. Many people arrive just in time to see the end of the two hour extravaganza, a few stick around to hear the Apocalypse Worchestra play late into the night.
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| Papa Joe Mama orders the crowd to slaughter the pinks. |
Dr. Barney Hitler and Rev. Medulla Oblongullah tag team host the event, which crams the floor of the Velvet Elvis to unsafe levels. There are appliance healings, sickenings, miracles, confessions, excuses, and corporal punishment.
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| Reverend Medulla Oblongullah feels the spirit of Jhvh-1 with the help of a friend. |
An outraged Connie Dobbs promptly kills her husband when she finds out the news, and attempts to kill the X-ist who impregnated her husband, but the X-ist is too fast and escapes. Later, Connie comes to her senses and forgives "Bob" and the X-ist.
IMPORTANT NOTICE:
In light of the events surrounding X-Day (or rather, NON-events), we must ask if this was really "Bob" at all, and not instead the evil twin "Dick" Dobbs posing as our spiritual leader. Those who would say that Connie would know the difference ignore the evidence that she might be behind the deception!
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| Connie forgives "Bob's" transgressions with the X-IST Harlot. |
Yes, believe it or not, some Bobby in the audience steals the sacred rotting head after its launch and no doubt keeps it hidden under his bed, where he pulls it out every night to masturbate on it- (not realizing the intense pleasure he could get if he were to actually have consensual intercourse with it!)
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| Father Joe Mother unveils the Head. |
Police serve the Velvet Elvis Lounge with a warrant because of thousands of "Bob" flyers pasted all over downtown Savannah by devout Subgenii. It seems that it is illegal to put up flyers around town because "it violates the historic beauty." This is merely the way the Conspiracy prevents the poor from advertising! Rev. Frankenstone Histophoeles pleads guilty in return for a slap on the wrists.
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| The Apocalypse Worchestra provided Anti-musik . |
BEWARE! The Papa Joe Mama and Janor Hypercleats Clones were activated the following day but in the past we have had problems with the clones so BE CAREFUL! We CANNOT be held responsible for the actions of any clones we activate. Please contact Time Control Headquarters for warranty and servicing information on all SubGenius Simulacra.
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| Rev. Jim Jones orders kool-aid shooters for everyone. |